Miss Yewande Abiodun “Tipsy”
Few days to the grand finale of the Miss West Africa UK 2009. MEBB met up with one of the contestants Representing Nigeria, Miss Yewande Abiodun popularly called “TIPSY” by many. Follow us as we get to know Miss Yewande and why she is contesting. Enjoy!
WHO IS YEWANDE ABIODUN?
Am an 18 year old, 5ft 9inch tall lady (lol), a model,a student, a daughter to my mother. I was born in Ondo state in Nigeria. I moved to United Kingdom in 2006.
WHAT WAS GROWING UP LIKE?
Hmmm she sighs! I lost my dad when I was 2years old so I don’t know my dad. I grew up with my mum in Ondo State. Life has been full of ups and downs but I thank God. I attended St Louis Primary School in Akure, then went on to Fedral Government Girls College also in Akure for my secondary school education. I am currently in my second year of Advanced Levels at Kingsbury Sixth form College North West London studying Media & Sociology. I look forward to go to the University of West England in Bristol to study Media Jouralism in September 2010.
HOW DID YOU GET THE NICKNAME “ TIPSY”?
I got the name from my best friend Tosin Alabi in Nigeria. She gave me the nickname due to my hyper and crazy behaviour.
HOW DID YOU GET INTO MODELLING?
People around my encouraged me to give it a try, so I decided to go for it.
WHAT MADE YOU CONTEST FOR MISS WEST AFRICA 2009?
I have always wanted to showcase my talent on the runway but due to the fact that I was not 18 I could not take part. Now that I am of legal age, I am ready to catwalk on the runway and also I have a very strong passion for modelling.
WHAT IS YOUR BEST FOOD?
Beans and Sugar.
WHERE WOULD YOU PREFER TO LIVE NIGERIA OR UNITED KINGDOM?
Nigeria all the way… but would still choose anywhere in South East London so I can be close to my Nigerian People. (She laughs).
WHO & WHAT INFLUENCES YOU?
WHO: God & My Mother.
WHAT: Any GOOD MUSIC….
WHO ARE LISTENING TO AT THE MOMENT?
DaGrin , Leo Orezi, Durella, 9ice.
WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN THE NEXT 5YEARS?
I see myself finished from University, working in my chosen career and able to provide for my family.
WHAT ARE YOU HOBBIES?
Dancing and Writing.
WHAT IS YOUR SHOE SIZE?
Laughs “Do you want to buy shoe for me…..anyway for anyone that wants to buy me one its Size 7 or 8
SECRET TO YOUR SLIM FIGURE, DO YOU EXERCISE?
(Laughs) I do not do any exercise. It is naturally from God.
WHO DO YOU LOOK UP TO IN THE MODEL & ENTERTAINMENT INDUSTRY ?
I look up to quite a few people because you learn a lot from different people
MODELLING: Naomi Campbell
ENTERTAINMENT: Beyonce – as an elegant and positive image.
YOUR KIND OF GUY?
A guy that understands and always encouraging me to do my best. An african man all day who is also God fearing.
ARE YOU SINGLE,SEARCHING OR SATISFIED?
I am satisfied. I am currently in a relationship. (laughs)
WHAT DOES THIS PAGENT MEAN TO YOU IF YOU WIN?
It would mean everything to me at the moment. It’s like a stepping stone to my success
MESSAGE FOR FANS
A very big thank you to everyone behind me because am nothing without you all.
I would like to say “please follow your dreams and hope for the best”
For more info :http://www.misswestafrica.com/
MEBB TEAM
Moji Matesun..A young Fashion Designer
5 Mistakes Women Make by Ekene Agabu
We have heard it from our mothers, our aunts, our mentors, our sisters and a few female friends. But many of us are still left wondering what unbiased perspectives ‘they’ have.
‘They’. MEN.
Hear those wise words from one of them. I have been touched by this article and strongly believe it will strike (at least) a cord with many of you. It’s a long worthwhile read. Brace yourself for what I consider in numerous ways, THE RAW, PLAIN TRUTH from Ekene Agabu.
Cheers,
enkay
_______________________
Before I begin or rather let you into what I have written, I must confess that I had completed this article months ago but was a bit apprehensive in publishing it. I didn’t want to come across as being judgmental and if after reading this you feel judged or put down as a woman, please excuse my unskilled delivery, for that is not my intent. And if you feel that I have crossed the line as a man in sharing these with you, do not hesitate to express your disdain for my impetus.
Having said that, I feel qualified to write this as a man because I stand as an unbiased observer and also one who has had the opportunity to take advantage of these mistakes. But I must confess, we as men have been @$$#*%*$ . Where we should have given, we took; where we should have loved, we lusted and where we should have preserved, we devoured. As a Man, I must call myself to higher standards. Before I touch you, I must respect you like my mother, protect you like my sister and look out for your best interest like my baby – after all, that’s what I call you when I want you! We’ve failed to realize that the significance of our masculinity does not lie in how many girls we can dis-virgin but rather the honor we can bestow upon one. We fail to understand that the purpose of our strength and dominance is to defend and protect not to attack and destroy.
But the first mistake was not yours. You were born into a world that didn’t even give you the chance – the chance to be who you really are without any pressure or expectation. From day one you were unconsciously groomed from childhood to be an acceptable accessory to a man’s life. You were constantly made conscious of a false milestone that suggested your value was based upon a man finding you worthy to be his, instead of being made aware of who you are by virtue of your own unique existence. Your worth as a woman was reduced to two things; being a wife and your ability to bear a child – and in some cultures, you had to bear the right type of child. And if per chance you failed in one of these areas, you were nobody, no one – you were nothing.
Unfortunately, along the way, you may have made some mistakes in trying to fulfill this false notion of who you are supposed to be. Bad relationship after bad relationship continually emphasized the lie that you were nothing without a man. Not only do you sit there as one with mental wounds from childhood, but also with hurts and wounds that are self inflicted as you sincerely tried to fulfill the so called destiny of the woman – being someone’s woman.
As I share this with you, I do not come as one who claims to understand your plight, but rather I stand as one who has heard you. From my mother to my aunts to my cousins and my friends, I have heard you and will continue to listen whenever you speak.
That being said, I do not believe we are responsible for the things that are done or said to us, but I do know that we are responsible for allowing those things continue in us. It’s in this light that I share with you the five common mistakes women make in relationships.
Your Personal Standards! Don’t leave home without them!
By not setting your standard, you’ve just set the standard. The standards I speak of are not standards for the relationship; I speak of your personal standards irrespective of the relationship. What is your life’s moral compass? This could get a bit confusing, so let me explain. Often times, at a certain point in life, people turn to religion for some sort of moral guidance or law. It’s an acknowledgment of some sort that they have made numerous personal mistakes and are in probable search for a turn around. So you might have a young lady who’s been around the block and has now become a Christian, and professes that she will be celibate until she gets married thereby claiming this new belief to be her standard. This is a religious belief that she has now adopted and not a personal standard. Your personal standards are born and realized from within you and become your principles rather than a law. A principle is born out of understanding; an understanding of who you are and why you are here on this earth. If you are roaming the earth like a lost sheep in search of a man to give you relevance, you will always find yourself jumping from relationship to relationship with each one leaving you even more confused than you were in the beginning. But when you understand that you are not here by chance and your presence on this earth has significant relevance, the aura about you changes and the people and things you accept into your life will only be a reflection of your internal essence or your personal standard. A man can cause you to go against a belief because it was never yours in the first place, but he can never sway you away from your principle because you are one with your principle. A lady who lives from her principles takes personal responsibility for her own actions and responses. She takes charge and never leaves her fate to the opinions or actions of men. She doesn’t go on a date with every man that asks her out because she doesn’t need a man – she would want a man but she fully well understands that her worth is solely appraised on who she is and not who she’s with. She would not change her principle to have or keep a man. She’s doesn’t need to sleep with a man to have or keep him. She understands that whatever she can’t get by way of her principles will never be her own. That you are sleeping with a guy does not mean he’s yours. If you had to sleep with him to keep him, he was never yours in the first place. In the absence of your personal standards, you end up trying many things and many people, but you never experience the love that is already within you. Allow that love within to write your standards and begin to live from them. That love will never lead you astray, never ever!
Why are you making excuses for him…again?
I have come to observe that ladies often see the man as the prize. So once it looks like they have him – especially if he appears to be a good one – they want to do everything in their power to keep him. I understand that, but I don’t accept that and neither should you. You are the Prize. We should fight over you and want to do things to get and keep you. We should want to make sure you are ok. A man who loves and respects a woman will never want her in doubt when it comes her knowing of his feelings towards her. When we are crazy about a woman, we are no longer the reserved and non emotional creatures you think we are. We become a mess – drooling internally when we think of you. We would never want you to feel you are on shaky ground concerning your status with us. We will publicly profess and show you to the whole world. We will put up a picture with you in it as the our profile pic, tag you in all photos you appear in and most importantly make sure that our status box shows that we are in a relationship with you. Yup, that’s what we do when we love you – we say it out LOUD! And when we are out and about with you, our professions are usually crystal clear: ‘Meet my girlfriend, Sandra’ or ‘Meet my fiance, Sandra.’ Not, ‘Meet Sandra’ who is Sandra??? When we love you, we want the world to know that we love you. But I get amazed when ladies see the writing on the wall and continually make excuses to justify a man’s blatant abuse towards them. What do I mean? Take for instance the introductions highlighted above; He introduces you as just ‘Sandra’: you know you don’t like it, but you make an excuse within yourself and say, ‘he’s a private kinda guy, he doesn’t like to publicly show stuff.’ Really? Ok, let me ask, “Are you enrolled in midnight gymnastics with him?” In other words has he bent your body in ways you didn’t think possible? Well, there is only one thing worse than a guy sleeping with a woman in secret; and that is, a woman allowing that to happen. Before you allow a man do to you privately what can affect you publicly, he must first of all acknowledge you publicly as the woman he respects and loves. If he can’t do that, you need to tell me why you are still sticking around. How can you allow a man to knock you up when you are just ‘Sandra’ to him? You know you deserve better, so stop the excuses. Instead of making excuses for him, take charge – not of him or the relationship, but of yourself. Never remain in an environment where your integrity is compromised. Remember, you are the prize and we should work hard to get and keep you. And after all our hard work, you still have a right to say NO.
Why are you looking for ‘something’ in a bag of ‘nothings?’
A few years ago, a friend who was engaged was getting ready for her wedding which was just a couple of months away at the time. She called me occasionally during the preparation process, but on this one phone call, things were pretty bad. She was mad, upset, disappointed and unhappy that she was marrying this guy. So I asked her why she was still going on with the wedding if she felt the marriage wouldn’t work out. She said to me that she did not want the last four years of her life spent with him to go to waste. Hmmm! When she said this, I looked at my phone because I couldn’t look at her (she was in a different city) and in that instant – if I had a private jet – I would have flown to her city to give her a knock on her head – not a hard one, just a gentle knock – to help tilt her brain back to the center of her skull, because obviously it seemed out of balance with what she had just said to me. Let’s think about this, You are willing to screw up the next 50 years of your life, create babies in a hostile environment with a man you despise thereby screwing up the next generation, raising kids that would need therapy for the rest of their lives based on the abuse they will experience in that home, all because you don’t want the last four years of your life – 1,2,3,4 – to mean nothing (I’m having a headache just rehashing this story). So you are trying to create a love marriage from a four year crappy relationship. Needless to say, this lady was a young beautiful 28yr old lawyer. With good life habits she could easily live another healthy 50 years (Have you seen Barbara Walters lately? She’s 80). And here you are, willing to mortgage your future on four years with this jerk? She was desperately trying to make something out of nothing. That you’ve been in a long term relationship does not mean you should continually stay in it. Unfortunately for some ladies, it takes a while to see the light and muster up courage to get out of a bad situation. But when you see the light; RUN, GO, your life deserves it. If you don’t make that change, you’ll never know what’s out there? And when I say out there, I don’t mean what’s out there in another relationship; I mean what’s out there in you that you are yet to discover. Some of you ladies are afraid – afraid that you might not be married by a certain time. You begin the calculations, ‘Ok, I’m 28 now, if I break this up, how long will it take to find another guy and get married? Oooh! It may take another 4 years and I’ll be 32. No! I can’t be single at 30.” You are killing yourself with this kind of dialogue. Like she later said to me, she always saw herself married by 29. Needless to say, she was divorced by 29. They got married alright, but their divorce was made final before a possible 1st wedding anniversary. Sometimes we allow fear to dictate what we should do. We will never get from fear what love has to give. Love is bold, confident and fearless. Why are you scared? Why are you letting fear keep you in a relationship that you know you don’t want? Why do you want to marry a guy who has already made you feel like trash? Why are you choosing to be with someone you are not crazy about? Ok, so you are more concerned about looking good and successful on the outside at the expense of how you truly feel on the inside. You are too special for that. Let people think what they think, you know what you know and that’s all that should matter. Sometimes, we don’t believe; we don’t believe in ourselves, so we settle and then try to make something out of nothing. You can’t change another human being, it’s impossible. You haven’t even changed some things about yourself; how then do you think it possible to change another?
You’ve gotta think before you have his baby!
Often times when I’m in conversation with one of my numerous lady friends, something always cracks me up. I know they been having sex for years in and out of relationships and that fact is not hidden between us. But on some occasions, when I ask them if they have been pregnant before, their voice takes on a new tone of ‘How dare you?’ And then there is a resounding NO, like, ‘how could I get pregnant?’ Wait a minute! Am I missing something here? If you are having sex – sexual intercourse, you are potentially making a baby. You are filing an application. As soon as he ejaculates into you, the application is submitted and the outcome of that process is no longer left to you or him but to the Department of Conception. And if they approve it, you become pregnant whether you want it or not. Sex is not just about the pleasure derived, neither is it an antidote for loneliness. Sex is Responsibility; meaning you will have to respond to the outcome of that sexual encounter and sometimes it could be a lifetime of responses especially when a child is conceived. And when that child is born, you will forever have a symbol representing your union with your ex. Once a child is conceived, there is no moving on from that relationship. It begins the strongest bond known between a man and a woman. That man holds a special place in your heart regardless of how you feel about him today. You may have an abortion in trying to cut any future ties to this man, but may I have you know that the power of conception outweighs the power of birth. For something to be born, it has to be conceived. We are all on this earth first because of conception then birth. Without conception, there will be no birth but without birth there can be conception. A strong bond is created when you allow a man’s sperm to start life within you. It is a major privilege to give to someone and not everyone should have that kind of access to you. If a man is horny and wants to be relieved, tell him to use his hand. You are no object and certainly no substitute for a man’s hand. So if you don’t want to have his baby, don’t make his baby.
I know there’s Pressure, but why are you under it?
I have come to observe that whether she’s 21 or 29, she always feels she’s running out of time. One thing you must understand is that pressure is not real. You are real and when you give attention to or come under the dominance of something that is impotent, you give it potency – you give it power. That is why this thing we call ‘pressure’ has the effect it has. You give it the effect. You are the effect. Sometimes we are driven by those voices of ignorance that may have come from people we love, so we try hard to get into a relationship and make it work. “Oh! This one has to work cos I’m almost 30.” Screw him and screw 30. You are more valuable to yourself and to the world than the timeline of your eggs or your age. Your world will not come to an end if you are not married by 30; in fact, it may just be beginning!
A few years ago, a lady friend of mine, who was 21 at the time called me up to talk about her ‘man’ troubles. During our conversation, I observed that she had always been in a sexual relationship since she was 15. She confessed to me that she didn’t want to be alone; actually she didn’t know how to be alone. You see, you do yourself a huge injustice when you spend your formative years interrupted. Sex interrupts. It stops your creative and intellectual development and gives strength to your emotional cravings which should still be asleep. Your formative years are years you spend forming your person and your identity in readiness for your service to the world. Unfortunately, ladies give that time and space to some guy – a guy who may not even be in your life past your 30th birthday.
Have we as men failed you? Oh yes we have! As fathers some of us weren’t present in your young life. As uncles, instead of being fond of you, we fondled you. As friends we were more focused on the benefits instead of the sacrifice. We used you when we should have added value. We took advantage instead giving the advantage. We failed you quite all right, but you don’t have to do to yourself what we did to you – You don’t have to fail yourself. You can’t afford to fail yourself. You are the door to humanity. Life has to go through you to enter this earth. Even God needed a woman to come back into the world.
There’s no need to dumb yourself down or compromise your true integrity. We need the true you. We can’t exist without you and we will adjust to whatever standard you set for us – so why not make it high, why not make it YOU?
Sited from [ www.bellanaija.com]
MEBB introduces D'banj aka KOKO MASTER
Twenty-four year old D’banj is a London-based Nigerian singer and songwriter, as well as a harmonica master and a charismatic stage performer with boundless energy. D’banj grew up listening to music by Fela Kuti (“My great mentor.”) and has performed at Femi Kuti’s New Afrika Shrine in Lagos, as well as the Shrine Synchro System’s regular London night at Cargo and the Black President (The Art & Legacy of Fela Kuti) concert series at the Barbican in London. Without ever turning into a mere carbon copy of his hero D’banj brings Afrobeat to life and into the 21st century with breathless enthusiasm, as well as a good dose of humour. He vows that all of his songs are based on true stories of his own life, often hilarious, but also with a deeper meaning which documents the struggle of a young African trying to achieve his dreams – in his case is to be a successful artist/musician (D’banj: “D’banj is music, music is D’banj”). D’banj performs in Yoruba, English and, like his hero Fela Kuti, in Pidgin (broken) English.
D’banj was born in 1980 as Dapo Daniel Oyebanjo in the Northern city of Zaria, Kaduna State, Nigeria, to Colonel Daniel Duro Oyebanjo, an artillery officer, and Faith Olubukolola Oyebanjo, a business woman and church dignitary, both from Ogun State. D’banj has a brother (Kehinde) and three sisters (Shola, Yinka and Taiwo). His older brother, Femi, who was in the NDA (Nigerian Defence Academy in Kaduna), tragically died at only 17 in a plane crash when D’banj was 15 years old. Due to his father’s job D’banj’s family moved numerous times. They left Zaria when D’banj was one to move to Jos, then Kaduna, and later Bombay in India where they stayed for a year and a half while D’banj’s father worked in the artillery barracks there. When D’banj was 11 years old he was sent to the Nigerian Military School in Zaira, where he stayed for four years, after which he went to Abeokuta in Ogun State for two years to finish his high school education in 1997. He then moved to Lagos, and in 1999 started studying Mechanical Engineering at UNILAG (Lagos State University). Having lived in the Northern regions of Nigeria, means he is able to speak a little Hausa, while his mother tongues are Yoruba and English – plus he is fluent in pidgin English.
Growing up D’banj was to enter the military like his father, but at 14 D’banj picked up a weapon of a different kind, and altogether more peaceful: the harmonica. He was introduced to it by his late brother Femi who played it, too. In fact, his brother’s harmonica was one of his possessions that was recovered after the tragic plane crash, and D’banj started to cherish it. D’banj’s incredible harmonica skills are self-taught; he says: “I play the harmonica like it was built for me.” D’banj also plays the piano – his father bought a piano when the family were living in India – but for him the harmonica wins hands down – on portability which is important to D’banj as he wants music around him constantly. At school D’banj also left an impression: he came third in music in his school and also performed with his school band. Later on in 1999, D’banj came third in a talent show, part of the Music Festival and held at the Muson Centre in Lagos. While all other contestants performed classical pieces D’banj opted for performing Bob Marley’s “Redemption Song” as a solo harmonica piece. D’banj also used to play harmonica in church, at Winners Chapel Living Faith in Lagos, which is one of his best childhood memory of Nigeria.
D’banj became more and more involved in music and could not see himself doing anything else with the same passion. His song “All Da Way (Airbourne)” is about the struggles he has faced with his parents over his chosen career path. Dapo had now adopted the elegant, almost French-sounding, name D’banj, a combination of his first name Dapo and his surname Oyebanjo, and went on to start his professional music career in Lagos. In 2002, he collaborated with the Nigerian rap star Ruggedman on the track “Kiss Me Again” (on which D’banj sang and played harmonica). The song was included on a compilation (released by SilverTones Records in Nigeria) which also featured Harmony, Simone, Ruggedman (solo tracks) and top Nigerian producer/artist O.J.B. Jezreel who produced all the tracks. “Kiss Me Again” generated a lot of publicity and its accompanying video went to number 5 on the Groovoids charts on MBI TV, while D’banj also appeared on many radio stations, including Eko FM and 93.7 Rhythm FM. Other tracks D’banj recorded in Nigeria were “Gba-si-be” (featuring Abounce) and “One More Wish”.
In December 2002, against his parents’ wishes, D’banj moved to London to further his musical career. After settling in it didn’t take him long to realize that you had to work hard and be sharp to make it. He worked with several production companies, including Docklands-based company Hekcentric Records where he recorded “We Can Go” which he performed on the London’s African club scene, including Moonlighting in the West End.
Genevieve Nnaji featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show
http://www.bellanaija.com/2009/09/29/genevieve-nnaji-featured-on-the-oprah-winfrey-show/
Nigerian actress Genevieve Nnaji was featured on the Oprah Winfrey Show in an episode ‘Meet the Most Famous People in the World‘. A montage of photos and a video clip (from the movie ‘Bursting Out’) featuring Genevieve was shown as her various career highlights were mentioned. Gene who was referred to as the “Julia Roberts of Africa” on the show was chosen due to her wide appeal across the African continent and all over the world. Other stars from around the world including Aishwarya Rai and Abhishek Bachchan (India) and Lu Yu (China) were also featured on the show. Congrats to Genevieve! Bella Naija is also excited that we assisted the Oprah Winfrey Show in working on this piece. It is great to see Nigeria and Africa being presented in a positive light. Just seeing one positive story about Nigeria/Nigerians actually plays a significant role in changing the perceptions that many hold. One step at a time….
http://www.bellanaija.com/2009/09/29/genevieve-nnaji-featured-on-the-oprah-winfrey-show/
