ARTICLE:When Love Becomes a Battleground

When Love Becomes a Battleground

By: Nichole Jackson

I’m sitting here listening to Jordan Spark’s single Battlefield blasting from my radio and it occurs to me that the song epitomizes the atmosphere that I create in all of my relationships. Come on, to be fair everyone always knows that the woman is always right when it comes to an argument, but why is it that I always want everything to go my way? A majority of the time refuse to compromise my views because I firmly believe that I’m always right and what starts out as an inseparable union evolves into a full-blown war complete with battle lines drawn and strategic ploys enacted. Compromising is seen as been week in love and war, there is no such thing as partnership as someone has to take the dominant role whether it be male or female. How do we identify the signs of a potential war of wills and what can we do to prevent it? This is the general scenario:

The first couple of months are great and you two are inseparable finishing each other’s sentences, thinking everything is so cute about the other person basically looking at other through rose colored glasses. Until these glasses one day fall off your nose and break and through the shards of glass this look disproportionate, you begin to think that you are doing too much, falling to deep to quickly and you find yourself on the floor knocked down and whipped. You feel open and vulnerable for potential heartbreak because you have in fact falling in love. Now because of lack of communication during these past few months you are wonder blindly if the other person’s feeling equate to the intensity of yours. Coming right out and asking involves risk and if you have noticed the strategic ploys are already forming in your mind to test them without the other person knowing while trying to get them to prove their love. Females look for signs and signals in our partner’s behavior towards us while males usually automatically assume that a girl is interested if she answers to his every beck and call picking up on our nurturing nature. Relying on these methods however may cause confusion as unless you are a body language expert, misinterpretations may occur. Even if both parties feel the same in my experience some one always loves a fraction more than the other and is prepared to go an inch further than the other to prove it.

Love also becomes a battleground when trust is absent and insecurities creep in. When your partner looks at another person or has a close relationship with someone else and you are not the centre of their universe. Invisible issues arise forcing you two to battle it out in the argument arena, shouting over each other, getting one up on each other until no one is winning. The key to avoiding making your love a battleground is communication and trust. Without these the relationship might as well dissolve and before entering the relationship you should have assessed your common interests and goals, measuring your compatibility. Every issue that arises should be dealt with as a team, taking into consideration the other person’s views before making our own. Always think of yourself as the negotiator and your purpose is to resolve a hostile situation.

Be Sociable, Share!

•